Mummy can have her meltdown, is legit.

This Straits Times article caught my eye.

"Mums have meltdowns too, let's just move on." by Clara Chow.

Since Good Friday weekend onwards, my 2 children weren't behaving well. I mean they have usual tantrums and fights but the past 2 weeks were a new level of growing up. They fought very badly with each other, scratching each other, biting each other and the younger one started to use his legs to kick his brother.

But nothing has quite prepared for yesterday, the biggest meltdown ever by the youngest one. The triggering point was a "No" to the library because the timing didn't allow a trip to the library after their Berries class. I proposed an evening trip which was refused. So there he stood and not inching any step. His father was starting to be frustrated and just huddled him into the car.

The entire drive home had him constantly scratching me and even biting me. It was mayhem. By the time peace had restored, both myself and the husband had such a bad headache.

the bite

Can I use the word "Jaded" to describe my feeling with the 2 boys? Am I even allowed to feel such way? I don't know. Mummy is always perceived as the strong one, with endless energy like an Energizer Bunny. Mummy also has the solution to fix every problem. Mummy has a way to handle even the most difficult child.

But not for me. Saturday tantrum or meltdown was a traumatic experience, not because of the bite. The body language from a 4 year old was exploded with strong counter-challenge-parents fuse. You scolded, he talked back. You threatened him with a cane, he struck first by hitting you. At that point, I didn't know how to handle him anymore.

It's tiring, to me. How do you get a 4 & 5 yr old to cooperate with you? From the moment they wake up in the morning to bedtime, is always a tug-of-war to get things done. Simple instruction "can you wear your shoes?" can take up to 10 minutes before anyone actually acts on it. It's frustrating and exhaustive.

It also doesn't help much when well-meaning friends started to share their parenting style. I mean I could listen to their good advice another day but right now, I need someone to tell me "It's okay. Mummy doesn't have to know everything. Mummy can be jaded."

Perhaps I need my own meltdown, just so life can move on.