Project XP2

God really caught us by surprise. 

20 April 2012

I suspected I was pregnant 3 days before I took the test. The tell-tale signs were similar to the times when I conceived Jonathan. The nausea and gagging during brushing teeth. The positive line was faint.

22 April 2012

The line got darker and I really couldn't believe it! Jonathan was only coming close to 8 month old.

I decided to repeat my experiment with my ovulation test strip. It showed a positive as well. 

The result was quite strong and my mind went into a whirlwind mode. A lot of things came to mind. The immediate concern was what is going to happen my Jonathan.

24 April 2012

Still in my denial state, I tested with clear blue. This is the "golden standard" to me with its 99% accuracy.

But I still couldn't really settle down with the news.

28 April 2012

Just in case clear blue got it wrong with its 1% error margin, I repeated (for the umpteen times) another pregnancy test. 

Okay... this is undeniable. It is a TRUE positive.

Since Dr Tan had retired, I was recommended to Dr Seng Shay Way, also from Gleneages. My first visit with him went quite well. A sac was detected and I was only 5 weeks into my pregnancy.

At the 6th week, I had spotting and given a progesterone jab at the butt and utrogestan to support the pregnancy.

7th week was another review to make sure everything was going well. By then, fetal heartbeat was detected and I could stop the weekly visit. 

On the day I was scheduled for OSCAR (a screening test for Down's syndrome), I had spotting again. Went back for another progesterone jab. 

The whole of 1st trimester which ended just yesterday was a lot more painful than the 1st pregnancy. The morning sickness was terrible and I couldn't eat. Lost 2-3kg during this period. It was quite amazing and by God's strength, I pull through the 1st trimester without any additional MC or leaves.

However, yesterday I was told of a terrible news.

XP2 is doing well, the OSCAR result is good. It is my placenta.... the positioning of it is not ideal.

A normal placenta should be high up above on the uterus so that it will not block the cervix opening, enabling natural delivery. A low lying placenta has a good chance of moving upwards as the uterus expand. But mine is placenta praevia. It means that the placenta is sitting at the cervix opening, making it impossible for natural delivery.

I first went into "HUH" when told I need to do Caesarean delivery but that was not all. Dr Seng had prepped me that there will be massive bleeding due to the placenta. He explained that because the placenta sit at the cervix opening, there is no uterine muscle to contract to stop the bleeding. So 100% bleeding will occur and 2 pints of blood units will be on standby for my blood transfusion.

He explained that it could be as much as 800ml to 1000ml of blood loss and told me to use this period to store up my iron so I could cope better with the blood loss. 

I just felt that death is hovering around me. What is going to happen to my 2 babies? I could feel my tears welled up at his room.

So #1... slim chance of placenta moving up as it is siting at the cervix opening - therefore, caesarean delivery is needed. #2 - because of the placenta at the wrong position, massive bleeding would occur. #3 - if bleeding could not be stop, might have to remove the uterus. 

And then, there is a possibility of uterine bleeding and that could mean I need to be hospitalized. If baby is coping well and bleeding stop, I can be discharged. If not, I might have to be hospitalized till I deliver. There could also be a possibility of having a premature baby.

I still haven't really come to peace with this news.

But I know that God is above all and this miracle which He planted will blossom. Even though there is a slim chance, but God's hands can do miracles. My hope and my trust will be placed in the blood of the lamb.

For now, (wo)man can do nothing much more. Except to eat well and rest well. I pray that another miracle will break through at 20th week. A confirmative decision has to be made by 32nd week. 

I will run with race with faith and I pray that XP2 will stick with me until end of this race.