20 week

Today marks the beginning of my 20 week of pregnancy. It is a milestone, it is the mid point of a 40 week pregnancy.

For 3 nights in a row, I start to feel the tiny kicks of my little baby boy. It feels like little pebbles being dropped onto your tummy. The kicks are so random and so unexpected but when it happens, my love just pours out to him.

Mid point of pregnancy means preparing for the arrival of Xiao Poh has to step up. Though we have already thought of the english name, it is the chinese name that really challenge us. We are still looking for the inspiration to name our firstborn.

Next are all the baby stuff we need to get ready. The list is just so endless so I'm grateful when friends offered to pass us their baby stuff. It helps us to save a little and most importantly helps us to have a kick start on what is needed for Xiao Poh.

Of course, there are many times too I day dream about Xiao Poh. How he will look like? Will we cope with the nightly feeds? Will I panic when he cries? Can I survive on the 2nd month after confinement period with no one to help me? How about the houseworks? Should I engage another part time helper? Should I have the cleaning lady come in weekly instead?

Then what about the labour? Will I endure all the pain? Will Darren freak out at the bloody scene? Will the delivery process be smooth?

So many questions but no definite answer.

For now, we can only pray for the strength to endure all, for the wisdom to make a right decision when needed, for the love to go through all and the humility to know that God is above all and no problem is too big for Him.