Rainbow Connection

It is not very often you get to see a rainbow in the sky. I think I saw it 5 times so far. But ever since I got to know about Pastor Joseph Prince and New Creation Church, rainbow has a different meaning to me.

Now whenever I see a rainbow, I remember it is God's covenant with us. (Genesis 9:16) His covenant of grace with us which means that whatever trouble I am having, whatever problem I am facing, whatever difficulty I am experiencing, God is with me. (2 Corinthians 12 :9)

Life is having another crisis. I had a really big and troublesome one in 2006 but that really put me in the right perspectives. I remembered the heartbreaking nights, with tears and feeling very vexed. I remembered the anxiety was so great, the pain that was overwhelming me. And then God spoke.

It was a personal encounter with God that really convicted my belief that God is real and He has heard me.

He said "All the tears that you have shed. I am storing it up and will turn them into shower of blessings for you."

Indeed, my God has really showered blessings upon me again and again....

This time, I am in similar situation.

I have deliberated for a long time whether I should blog about it. Because it doesn't just concern me but my spouse too. Perhaps you could guess it... right, it is about family planning.

I remembered how I was feeling towards babies, I was and still am not the type that smile at the babies on the street, going gaga over the little ones. In fact, I thought I would be fine if I have no children of my own. One day, at a random service, Pastor Prince was saying that if you have no desire for children, you should ask God to open your heart. Then the desire would come naturally.

I was skeptical. Okay, skeptical was not the right word, I was discerning over what Pastor Prince said. Then I prayed that the Lord would open my heart and if it is His will, let it be done so.

After that, 6 months into my marriage, I felt a strong urge that we should have children so that we could form a happy family unit. Not just me and my husband and Robo, if I may add.

This is when the problem began. I soon realized that having a baby is not as easy as ABC. I began to read up and discovered that to get oneself pregnant, you need to know when you ovulate and there is only a window period of 12 - 24 hours for fertilization before the egg starts to disintegrate. This is really new biology 101 to me.

For the past 2 months, I would get really emotional on our futile attempts. I was thinking if God said "go forth and multiply", why make it so hard? So I prayed and would get angry, with myself, with my husband, and even grumble to God. I still don't get a Positive on the pregnancy test kit.

So I took a step back and prayed for new relevation. Tell me, God, what is happening?

Only when the heart is still, you will get the answer. Did Adam spring up from the dust on his own effort? God breathed life into his nostrils. (Genesis 2:7)

Sometimes things don't go my way, the way I like it. I don't understand why or how come? Perhaps the timing is not right.

It took me a long while to be peaceful again. Although I will be extremely delighted when the stork finally comes to us, I know that only God can provide a miracle. And I trust Him that when miracle comes, it will be perfect.